reflecting on the enterprise

January 22, 2019

This blog has long since come to a standstill, but life has not. Five years in the Texas enterprise has brought new life, change, stagnation, growth, heartbreak--all of the things that make up a full life. It's hard to comprehend everything that has happened in the last five years, but as I sit here writing, flashes come to mind:

• The conception and birth of two children. I will forever consider that hospital just up the road sacred ground. Our life and our family would be incomplete without Sarah Beth and Joshua.
• The routine magic of childhood. Eliza is nearly six years old--hardly full grown by any stretch of the imagination, but shockingly grown up at the same time. One year from now she will be anxiously anticipating her next birthday, when she will have the opportunity to be baptized. My children have grown up here, and something in me feels drawn home to our roots, while there is still time for them to be little. 
• Immeasurable growth. In me, in Blake, in our marriage, in our family relationships; in the intellectual, social, emotional, and spiritual capacity of our children. Eliza came to Texas in a rear-facing carseat, not speaking or even walking. Now she sings and dances in Show Choir and relishes the ability to read chapter books and scripture stories and anything she wants. I came here so... young. Now I'm older, wiser, stronger (sometimes), braver. Growth can be so imperceptibly gradual. It's encouraging to look back and realize the growth was happening all along, even in the seasons of backwards slides.
• Our first home. We've made this place ours. I'll always love this little house.
• Death. My brother Aaron died unexpectedly this past May. The shock and overwhelming grief has gradually given way to acceptance and stability, but the peace and purpose in his passing has always been there--even from the first call in the middle of the night that he was on life support and things weren't looking good and please, will you hit your knees because our brother needs all the prayers we've got. I wish I had something eloquent to say on this that fed my soul, but tonight I don't. Maybe a different night. These last several months have been in a category all their own.

I don't know where the next five years will take us. But I feel like I can sense the winds of change. No matter where we go, or what takes us there, it will undoubtedly be a life that calls for boldness, energy, engagement, readiness, and an adventurous spirit. Life is an enterprise. Embrace it with tenacity.