We also saw this doozy in the bush outside our front door last week:
Somewhat concerned and wondering if we should kill it--(my initial thought was, "Of course we should kill it!! No spider that big deserves to be on this earth!")--we did some research to find out what it was. Apparently, the argiope aurantia does deserve to be on this earth. Although it's pretty intimidating, it's completely harmless to humans and eats all manner of other awful things, like wasps, bees, and small vertebrates. (What?! A spider capturing and eating a gecko?? True story. Don't mess with the argiopes.) As we were reading it says males and females look about the same, but males are smaller (about 1/4" for the males; 3/4-over an inch for the females). We were sure we were looking at a female last week.
WRONG. Turns out those measurements are for the spiders' bodies only. Not their legs. Ew.
So we left last week's spider to go about eating wasps and gross things. But in the web today, there is a truly. massive. spider.--next to a smaller, shriveled, dead one. Looks like Mr. Man made his genetic contribution and kicked the bucket, as per usual. We'll see if Ladyfriend eats him...
Friends, this spider is ginormous. Like multiple inches including legs. And although it's kind of pathetic that I'm going on and on about this (especially because apparently they're all over the United States? A common garden spider.), I just have to say that when in Rome, you get used to what the Romans are used to. I hope. I wasn't a pansy about the scorpion, (although the thought creeps me to the core) and I'm allowing a giant spider to live and let live two steps outside my front door. But if it comes in my house, it's going to die. (Somehow. With loads of courage and fierce battle cries.) So you just keep your orb web with the crazy zigzag down the middle outside, okay dearie? And when your babies come, they better blow AWAY from my front door.
P.S. I am apparently addicted to parenthetical statements. This post has seven.
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